Stuff I wrote or: How I wrote shit and posted it on a blog

1)

Henry sat on his ass for a few hours watching television. The show was hypnotic. The show was pretty much giant swirls and small swirls rotating at various speeds with loud techno music as the soundtrack. You might ask, “What’s so hypnotizing about swirls rotating to techno music? I hate swirls. And I hate techno music even more!” Well, not if you were high. This guy was very high. Drool rolled down his chin and the sudden change in the techno beats inspired him to smile. The smile was exposed and revealed the man’s rotting teeth. The man never visited the dentist because he had no money. The little money he had from the little amount of work he did usually went to drugs. The man never really thought about the toll these drugs took on his body. The man never thought, “Hell, if I keep this up I’m not going to live very long.” All he thought was, “Damn, it feels good to be high.” He sure the hell wasn’t worried about leaving a beautiful corpse.


2)


“Look over there!” Thomas said to Bart and pointed to a large object about a hundred yards to his left.
“What?” Said Bart as he looked to the right.
“Why are you looking over there? Do you see anything over there?”
Bart decides to look to his left this time, “What the hell is it?”
“Dunno.”
“It’s big!”
“I’d say so.”
“Want to check it out?”
“Sure.”


3)


Sitting in the corner is small item in a box. The box is huge. Didn’t expect to see such a small item in the box. What a waste of space. So I take the item out of the box, sit the item on my corner table and destroy the box.

y'know what I love?

When you try to post a blog and it appears not to have gone through.


Then ya come back later and it's posted 3 times!


YAY!

An update to the Goat story!

So yesterday I call Goat's house to tell him that some of his special orders came in...(and yes, this is the number that he gave us...the number I've called many times before to tell him when things come in for him)



phone rings


"Hello?" says the woman.

"Is Goat there?" I ask

"Nobody named goat lives here," she laughs, "What type of person has a name like Goat?"

"Well, it sounds like a nickname."

The woman laughs, "Nope, he doesn't live here."


WHAT THE FUCK?




are Goat and his family crazy?


I just want to know.


I told my manager this story today and he just had me put out the dvd and shirt that came in for Goat out in stock. Then he had me pull the other special orders Goat had and any other contact information we had for him.


Enough of Goat!


Goofy fuckers!

hmm

so my 2 year old nephew walks up to me...


He's keeps repeating, "hey ryan!"

so I ask him, "what?"


and he points at me and says, "You're the man! You're the man!"


so I say, "thank you." and he walks off.

school dreams

I'm 24 (going to be 25 in May)...I graduated high school almost 7 years ago. Damn! Where'd that time go? *Shudders* I Can’t imagine how it'll feel in 20 years.

I've had two dreams in the last month that I was back in high school. Both dreams were fairly similar too. It's always the first day and I'm always 2 or 3 classes late. The high school hardly looks like the one I went to either. I can never find the head office to go sign in and get my schedule (because, hell, if I'm there, I might as well know where I'm going). I'm also wandering the halls, talking to people, not in class, getting lost, running errands for work at the same time, driving my car around a lot... All kinds of things are going on while I'm at school. Hell, I even have time to take a smoke break in my quest to get to class. In the most current one I actually made it to my gym class only to get into a verbal argument with the teacher that resulted in nothing more than me walking off to watch these crazy toys/animals playing in the playground. It was strange.